La mia arte della guerra

You know those situations in your life where you just sit back and think to yourself, “This is so messed-up” Or if you are like me, your thoughts would go like this, “This is so fucked up”.

We all get the “This is so fucked up” moments once in a while in our lives, no matter how careful or calculative we carry ourselves.

Some of them you can look back at and have a giggle while others might make you regret every time the thought of what led to them pops up in your head.

And you know, the really fucked up moments can really mess you up mentally, and once your mental status is fucked with then your whole system is basically fucked up.

But how can we avoid these moments? How do we tell when we are about to get into such quagmires? Are there any signs?

If you think carefully about each “This is so fucked up” moment that up to now makes you regret what you did or did not do then, you will realize that before you got there, you most probably made decisions based on personal values, emotions and sometimes intuition as opposed to factual and logical analysis.

In most cases, decisions made based on emotions and personal values are very gratifying in the heat of the moment and sometimes this satisfaction stretches to a short term but it’s the long term effects that will come back and fuck with you.

However, much as it’d make a lot of sense for us to always give enough objective thought to whatever we do before we do it, sometimes its just impossible to have that kind of patience and strength and usually emotions just get the best of you and in the end your ability to make sensible moves is just as good as your heart beat.

Also, sometimes times your ability to be patient and not making rush decisions in such situations does not automatically guarantee you logical out-comes, some people tend to keep shit within and park it away only to burst out in total madness eventually.

True strength lays in your ability not to forget (lose the ball), your courage/intention to confront and the wisdom/intelligence/skill to tackle issues rationally and objectively. This does not require Genius but Character, you must be able to lean towards facts and not emotions, you must be able to think more strategic than operational, you must have the patience to study a situation and look out for your strength and weaknesses, work out a roll out plan, play out it in your head, determine possible outcomes, plan for them individually, then ACT .

This might look like a damn long procedure and it can be too, though the magnitude of the situation will determine the length of the steps to be taken. If you attach this to your character, you will become a master in problem solving and you will greatly reduce your chances of encountering “This is so fucked up” moments.

If something happens and your heart starts racing, your body temperature rises, you feel an adrenaline rush, STOP right there, don’t slap her, don’t shout at him, don’t burst out of the room and slam the door, this only reveals your weak points, calm down, pull over to the side of the road, analyze the situation, look out for possible exit points, evaluate your opponent possible moves, look out for their weaknesses/strengths, see how you can capitalize on the former and counter the latter, now ACT.

Timing is everything, a brilliant plan will flop if executed at the wrong moment, you must know when to bow down and when to raise your voice, when to fear and when to instill fear. How well you know your enemy or understand your situation will give you great potential in effective timing.

Do not under-estimate her, because you don’t know what he is thinking, you only have an idea of how it may react, so plan properly, don’t plan for anything, this only means that you have planned for nothing, always plan for something not ANYTHING.

Most importantly, you need God, confidence and luck in whatever you do.

If you succeed by some substantial percentage with the above, you will have your enemies/opposers/competitors/challengers/bitter wife/stubborn husband/damn boss, sit back and think to them selves, “This is so fucked up” 🙂




~ by arthurscount on August 3, 2010.

18 Responses to “La mia arte della guerra”

  1. My initial reaction to this post was emotional. I felt that you were trying to over analyze life instead of throwing yourself into it. I tend to follow my heart and don’t often think things through too much. I guess it works for me. But as I read further, I must agree with you that thought and consideration,are the superior tactics, especially when dealing with emotionally charged situations, like you mentioned.
    Perhaps a general rule might be: if it feels good go for it, if it feels bad, think twice…?
    Hmmm, not sure. Perhaps I should stop looking for simple rules to life.

    • No darling, don’t stop looking for simple rules to life, it means that no situation is so big for you. I wouldn’t mind looking at life from your angle, it must be beautiful.

      • Why don’t you try it for a day? Pretend that the whole world loves you, and every bird singing is singing because it’s happy that you’re alive and every single event, comment, look, word is there for your benefit and pleasure, even if it doesn’t seem that way to begin with.
        Just as an experiment. Just for one day.
        Interpret everything as evidence that you’re loved.
        Let me know how you go.
        Much love to you.

      • Okay, I’ll try it.
        However I believe that it’s because of the bad times that we can really appreciate the good ones.
        I don’t want to mess up your mood but let me share with you some story; I saw pictures of kids in an Internally displaced People’s Camp (commonly called IDP camps) in a war rugged region in one of the African countries once, these kinds were all smiles and filled with extreme joy because they had received shoes and toys that were donated by previous owners that got tired of them or could afford to give away.
        The conditions these kids live in is unspeakable, from losing relatives daily, to going for days without a meal, but to see them smiling and laughing and eager to start running because they’ve received shoes and toys for me was just an extremely emotional moment. But then it got me thinking, the world might throw all kinds of crap at you but this should never stop you from smiling or feeling loved whenever something good comes your way. The moral of my story is, happy moments really mean a lot if they come after sad ones, not to say that I wish for sad ones, but to smile after you’ve cried for me shows God’s everlasting love for us.

        However, I am going to take your advise and fill myself with only good thoughts from now on, although I’m afraid that this might take away my ability to write about these bad things that occur around us, which for now is my first step to fighting them, please advise me Lisa, my trusted angel 🙂

  2. Just have confidence in the decisions you make, I find that when you think “that was fucked up” its simply doubt in our minds…and that will always be there!

    • I agree with you totally, however my write up was meant to help you avoid or at least reduce situations where you find yourself saying “that was so fucked up”.

      Been long by the way, how have you been my good friend?

  3. I remember as a little girl, I travelled overseas a lot with my parents and saw kids like the little angels you mentioned above, all smiles and joy in the middle of such extreme poverty, and conditions that would make most of us curl up and want to die. I don’t really know how they do it. Except perhaps that their happiness has nothing to do with external conditions?
    I’m pretty sure that it’s almost impossible to think only “good thoughts” {but I admire your spirit and courage!} but perhaps to acknowledge that no matter what happens, it is for your benefit. Even if not immediately obvious. At the moment, I’m struggling to mend a broken heart. I keep reminding myself that I learned a lot from the experience, and I’m grateful to the guy for the love we shared. It still hurts, but there is a sense of peace about it. Well, I’m sure there will be soon….
    Ultimately, it’s love that connects us all. And I think it’s all we really want. Not power, that’s a misguided cry for love. Not possessions, they are just trying to fill the place in us that needs love. In the end, there’s nothing else.
    And perhaps that’s why those beautiful kids from the IDP camps can smile in the face of such hardship. Perhaps they are not distracted from what is precious inside themselves – love.
    Sorry, if this sounds like new age cliches. I’m still fumbling my way through all this. I think I’m heading in the right direction. It feels right, you know, to love, no matter what.

    • I totally agree with you Lisa, at the end of the day, when you look at all the stuff we’ve got or the stuff that’s around us, the only thing with true constant meaning, is Love.
      It’s not even about love in the sense of a relationships, just love in totality, love for Humanity, love for Life, LOVE.
      I’m sorry for what you are going through and humbled by the fact that you shared it with me, I know you are going to be okay because it looks like you handling this the right way, the fact that you acknowledge the hurting is a really big step, most people prefer to pretend that they are cool about it, yet deep down they are really hurting, so they end up doing all kinds of crazy stuff just to distract themselves from the hidden pain, but not you, you are being bigger than this and I’m very proud of you.
      Oh and for what it’s worth, you’ve got a lot of love from me 🙂

      I like how you have tried to explain it up there, that their happiness has nothing to do with external conditions, it makes a lot of sense. But how do we better their external conditions? Because as they grow, they’ll realize that life is not about shoes and toys and this is when their external conditions will really affect happiness no matter what. How can we help? I know praying would be a good way to start.

  4. “…the only thing with true constant meaning, is Love.
    It’s not even about love in the sense of a relationships, just love in totality, love for Humanity, love for Life, LOVE.”

    Respect, my friend. I couldn’t have put it better. And I think you’re right about acknowledging our hurt, in fact, I’ve dived right into it lately and discovered that there is a pain inside that I suspect all of humanity feels. The human condition is a shared experience. We all hurt, and hopefully that hurt will lead us not to addiction or violence or denial, but to a deeper love, for each other.

    You’re a smart guy. Prayer would have to be a great place to start.

  5. This is all just too hard and controlled. I couldn’t live like this even if you paid me in white chocolate.
    I’d much prefer to fly kick them in their face, have 15 shots of cherry vodka, sleep with someone inappropriate, cry my makeup off and then blog about it.

    I don’t know any other way.

    I’d kiss but I just reapplied.

  6. Shit no. Does yours?

  7. Ah, Rubes, mon ami, I don’t think you mean it. Do you sweetie? I’ve uttered exactly the same lines on occasion, usually when my heart is bruised and broken. I’ve dunk vodka, red wine and pretty much anything else I could get my hands on, slept with someone inappropriate, acted like nothing and no one could ever hurt me. In the end it was only by loving myself {yeah, I know, sweetie, cliched new age rubbish] and treating myself with respect that I realised that I was the source of love.
    Now, perhaps I should add here, that the difference between drunk, can’t-remember-his-name sex and loving-this-man-who-is-part-of-the-divine sex is worlds apart. Galaxies apart. No comparison. You don’t even need to be committed to him, angel. Even a one-nighter, if you want that, will still take you into bliss when you’re feeling your own love.
    Try it, beautiful. You deserve a lot more than a hangover and a meaningless shag.
    Cos we all love you. 🙂

    • I totally agree with you Lisa, What Ruby does only offers a temporary remedy. I strongly believe that permanent solutions to your heart’s problems can only be found in your heart, not in a bottle or sex (However good it feels, ahem). Of course by heart and heart’s problem I really mean mind and mind’s problems.

  8. Heart, mind, body; it’s all one, isn’t it? But it can be such a tangled confusing mess sometimes. One of the best ways to see how much you’ve got your act together is to fall in love. That soon sorts us out.

  9. Whats happened to this Blog? Run out of intresting bullshit? Can we have some Political Blogging please…..Thats always the one to get people going 🙂

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